I push people away because I don’t feel like I’m good enough for anyone. I feel like everyone deserves the very best and I’m nothing near that. I want love though, more than anything. I want the pain and the fighting and the tears. I want the realness, I want the feeling of anger when I know I did something wrong and I want to be held. I want to fall asleep in someone’s arms and I want them to be happy. I want someone to be happy with me. Nothing more nothing less. I want to wake up everyone morning knowing they are mine but still their own person cause they are and no one is like them. I want someone who doesn’t have to hide what’s on his mind. I want to be able to listen to his stories and watch his eyes light up when he talks about something he loves. I want to see that glimpse of pain in his face when something bothers him but he puts on a strong front for me because he knows it will make me cry too. I want to sit in silence and not feel like I have to say anything cause just being in his presence is enough. If you don’t have anything to say I’m fine with that. I want to read books with him out loud, or by ourselves and I want him to glance over at me while I’m wrapped up in the book, crying or smiling and adore the way a book can get to me. I want him to know every crevice of my body and my heart. I want him to understand the world like I understand it. I want to learn together, travel together, be together. I want the laughter to never end. I want to be smiling even when I’m heartbroken and crying because I know that this is what real love is. I want it all. No matter what the pain, I want it.